

Saying goodbye to Toby, that is my topic today. I have fostered many dogs over the last 8 years. During the course of their stay, at some point I inevitably wrestle with the thought of possibly keeping each and every one. "Is this a dog I should be keeping?", "This one has been through so much, I just had to make it go through another change", or "This one gets along so well with my own dogs". I have come to learn to expect these thoughts. They do pass once that family comes into the picture whose life would just not be complete without this particular dog. And then I sigh, "an answered prayer, they are perfect for this dog".
With Toby, it was quite different. He came to us after years on a chain, and I mean "years" as in 8. Never having any medical attention, he was an initial whirlwind of health problems; chronic infected ears, never-ending digestion problems and advanced arthritis. We knew this would be a long road. No problem!!! Just start walking the road, one issue at a time. After months, Toby blossomed into perhaps the most amazing German Shepherd I had ever seen. His personality came through for the first time in his life. And, there was someone on the other end to receive his affection, his shepherd bossing-around, his herding and general patrol of the compound here. He had a job; keeping law-in-order in a home with two businesses, other foster dogs and two pit bull sisters!
Our local rescue, Love-A-Stray in Avon, Ohio raised the funds to give Toby something he could only dream of...a pain free hip. They arranged for his hip replacement and his life was certainly taking a turn for the better. After several weeks, our hearts sank as we realized the hip had shifted in its new socket and Toby would walk with a wobbly, twisted leg for the remainder of his life. Truthfully, we were crushed - Toby could have cared less! He had one pain-free hip and even though it was a little twisted, he was pain-free and sailing around the house. He would tumble occasionally, get his back legs criss-crossed and didn't really have a great sense of just where his darn back legs were! Of little concern to Toby! He had a family to watch over and dog sisters to herd around the house.
And still, those usual questions just never entered my mind. I just knew this dog was not supposed to stay here forever---he was destined for another family. Well...fast forward a year and for many reasons too numerous to mention, Toby was still parading around our house. Every time we would begin to post him for adoption or take him to an event, something would hold us back. His legs would seem worse, he would do something quirky like bark too loudly at the postman and we would wonder if he could ever make the adjustment with another family.
My husband was the first to announce that Toby wasn't going anywhere! I am usually the first one to cave, but I held back with some resistance. I protested that our house was too small, we had too many outside steps for Toby as he would continue to age and he needed a ranch-style home. But my resistance was rather lame, as I was really beginning to sense that he did, in fact, belong here. How could we squelch the enthusiasm and love for life that this dog had developed after 8 long years of misery?
Toby was an inspiration to me. His pain was suppressed as he carried on with his daily "shepherding" around the house. His family and his dog siblings were the life he had never had, he would have done anything for us. He never took his eyes off any of us long enough to even enter the bathroom privately. He would guard the door. Last Friday, he could no longer walk. My husband was out of town and in the end, this dignified dog was unable to be my guardian, so we reversed rolls and I held and ushered him into heaven to wait for my arrival. It was then that I realized what I think I always knew. God placed Toby here for my sake, not his. In times of trouble, he will be a beacon to me of perseverance....and dignity during the rough spots. What an amazing dog.....see you on the other side Toby, your mom.